Ever since I was born, I have been staring into these empty spaces. With eyes I see images, colours and shapes but with my mind all I see is emptiness. Is it what is inside of me that reflects so blankly before me? Or is it what my inside desires, absence of which shows me such hollow images? I ponder on and on, and I stare onto such empty spaces, wondering whether my life exists within those spaces or does it exist through those spaces?
Have you also been looking onto such broken empty faces? Have you been staring at those spaces? Has it been long enough for you to realize the reason? Because I am still finding it, I lose it and then I find it again and again, I finish one than I create anew, such spaces don’t ever end for me or maybe secretly I really don’t ever want them to end for me and just maybe I want to end within that emptiness or maybe I don’t. Do they even exist for you? Just ask yourself have you been doing that all too often? I know I am ruining the fun of it, because once you realize what you are doing the whole mystery is broken, now you can’t fool yourself, now you can’t just wait and ride it out. You will have to do something about those empty spaces, if they exist for you and only if you haven’t been ignoring them all too long now because they will never go, whether you go or not, what has no real existence has no real point of end.
Some of you might be feeling awkward, maybe a bit sad, or just not accepting it but I know you are, sorry for being so blunt, but all I am doing is trying to communicate a thought, a thought so hidden, but as ever my mind must communicate with your mind. So some might feel sad or however they please to react about it, feel like their lives are pathetic, so depressing that by the end of the day all they are left with are empty spaces. Only they hold true those horrid visions, those hollow thoughts, only they remain with you in the dark. Will, it is true isn’t it? That is what everyone is left with. You can roam around wearing a mask but when no one is looking and you take that mask off, what do you see in the mirror? What does your mind feel? You can shove them away, stop caring about them, sing along to unknown and useless tones but the fact remains that those empty spaces are there, they will not vanquish, they will stay with you and more you ignore them more they will grow inside, deep inside, they will grow. So wide that one day they will consume you and no one will help you because you forgot to help yourself when that was time.
So what must be done then? How must relief be found?
Well, one way or another I have found no relief in life as yet, temporary peace can be found, in moments anything can be found.
Spaces, spaces, those empty spaces, what must be done? For those who really want to, what must you do?
There are some people who don’t feel regret over thoughts, they don’t feel sad, but rather happy to meet such empty spaces. Curse them. they might from time to time feel as such but they know without them, without those empty spaces they are actually stranded in this lake of dirt. Does it seem absurd to you? How can a lost sign itself be a map? How can you find direction in a place where even the compass loses its direction? What is this happiness that I speak of then? A question should always give birth to more questions; it is more satisfying than an answer.
When you are staring at those empty spaces, what exactly are you staring at? Are you staring for the sake of staring? Because you would feel guilty if you don’t? Or are you staring because you expect to see something? Something out of pure nothingness?
If you are gaping just for the sake of it, I suggest you go home, look real hard at yourself in the mirror and than shoot yourself, right in that thick skull of yours. I don’t really like guns, I suggest poison instead. Yes take poison, gulp it down that is much better. Anyway you chose, just make sure that you are no longer a part of this world’s remaining thinking process. Make sure that you are dead, gone, finished. Because you can and will only do nothing more than create more fools like you, who would all their pathetic lives stare at those empty spaces and only remain amazed by the fact that there does exist empty spaces. Nothing more would amaze them; just their very existence would be satisfactory to their minds. They would not even dare question those spaces, would never even try to stretch out.
Everyone already knows that they exist my ever so intelligent friends. Yes, they exist, but why do they? Everyone knows they exist go beyond it, or rather everyone should know that they exist. And those who don’t know that those spaces exist well they themselves hold no existence to notice the existence of a space that exists in its non-existence to this filthy lake in the parallel world of true imaginative reality. It is better not to know then to know and do nothing.
Now for those who expect to see something, well take half a poison pill or half a bullet whatsoever you prefer. Because one half of you must have already died, all you need to do is kill the other part. Have mercy on this lost and forgotten world. Die all of you, just die, vanquish into nothingness which you worship so wildly.
Do you thing what you expect to see, will actually show you itself so openly? Do you think if that was the case I would be calling them empty spaces to begin with? Do you expect to see things hidden just by staring at them? They won’t come, try as you must. What I most fear is the fact that just because you wouldn’t be able to see it you would force it to show yourself, or in other words, fake it! Which is much more worse than not even seeing it, so would you care for some poison now? I know I would if I were you. Believe it’s a really great relief, and you would be helping millions. Die my friends, die.
Anything that is empty needs to be filled unless it has a hole inside it. When it has a hole in it, it is up to that empty thing and you to decide whether to fix that hole and then fill it or to let the hole be and never fill it. Now after that when you don’t fill it, should it be thrown away and forgotten or should you carry it around unless someone else would care to fix it? Do you then think that everything needs to be fixed or do you think everything fixes itself up? Questions, questions, questions will there ever come an answer from me? I have always believed in questions more than answers, riddles always have more riddles inside but if you look really closely riddles are themselves answers just with a question mark.
So when I stare at an empty space what than I see? Do I see you? Do I see me? Or do I see Him looking at me and me looking at you?
You need to find an empty space, not look at it and when you find that empty space, you need to spend some time with it and so slowly yet gradually you fill it. And then find another empty space. Always remember to leave a little hole in every empty space so someone else also try to find it and just not end up staring at it, condemned to a hollow death by my book.
I know, I could feel your attention span diminishing so I ended it, I got bored as well.