Relationships are a complex science only because they differ sometimes in slight variations and sometimes in immense variations from society to society and more specifically from couple to couple. And that is the most important thing when considering relationships, they are not all the same and they can not be expected to be all the same. Now I am not an expert which means I can give an honest advice rather a generalized opinion which defeats the object. I have devised few pointers what I think would work to maintain a happy relationship and not just a relationship, a happy one. They are not in order of important just in order of random selection.
1. Be open and honest:
Now you might have heard that over and over again, by articles in the magazines or experts in the field of bullshitting you, but it is what it says it is, nothing much more further to it. Be open, open enough to talk about all and any issue that might pop up in your head. This malarkey of men and women talk about different things is ridiculous, it might be so but not when it comes to your partner. If you have to go to a friend to talk about something that you cannot talk about with your partner than clearly you have missed the opportunity of being in a relationship with your closest friend.
Be honest and do not lie. Seriously this is mostly for guys, I used to lie a lot – I took it to a professional level but now I don’t. Why? because it feels a hell lot better, I do not have to hide myself behind a lie – I can just be myself and be loved for it. Little lies go in case you want to surprise him or her but big lies about major things – not a good thing.
2. Do not cheat:
And from being open and honest we come to the main point – do not cheat. There are so many articles and what not concerning this. All I have to say in this topic just don’t do it – just don’t. If you have a desire to cheat and you turn that into action and than are sincerely sorry about it – it is too late. If you want to cheat, have a desire to do it – than you are surely not with the person you want to be with physically or mentally and why not be open and honest about it and just part your ways before you would have to do that. Seriously grow up and stop screwing about – unless you are in an open relationship then by all means go for it.
3. Love them for who they are:
Girls – dont change them, it doesnt work. Stop this nonsense everyone of molding the other person. Yes, when one person has been with the other they will take the influence of the person with a stronger personality. But do not change them, if you do not like them how they are than they are probably not the one for you. Live in harmony, be your weird self and let your partner be weird in their own way.
4. Share Ideas and Believes:
Now this is not really that important, you can have different ideas and believes, and sometimes that does work best for both but doing forward it might create unwanted issues. If you have same ideas and believes and within those set of philosophies of life you have slight differences that is the best thing – because it gives you enough room to argue about your views but not enough to completely swing away from the stratosphere.
5. Have arguments:
And from that we come to – have arguments. Do not shy away from it, have as much arguments as you can as long as they are not just for the sake of it and they are not destructive. It is also very important that having arguments doesnt mean that you scream at each other and throw stuff at each – that is not arguing that is just fighting unhealthy and completely unnecessary. Argue and when you have done arguing settle it, return to normality.
6. Talk more than just lovy dovy stuff:
Might have been better off putting that at number 4 or something but anyway, yes talk about everything that comes in your mind. And it is not just that talk about philosophy, politics, all the problems in the world and beyond. Make your conversations more wide than just couple stuff, be more real and involved.
7. Don’t just know each others likes and dislikes understand them:
So, understand the likes and dislikes. Understand why is it that your partner likes something and why is it they dont because when you do that it gives you an idea about other things they havent told you about which they might or might not like. Also be open about fears.
8. Healthy Sexual Life:
Now that doesnt just mean have a lot and as much as you can, it means have meaningful one, have a surprise one, experiment, explore – be more involved and so you will never get bored.
9. Give each other personal space:
Sometimes you want to do what you want to do and you do not want to be disturbed. Give each other enough space to be able to do that. And it is not just that, it is also time to spend with your friends. Do not tag along to wherever your partner goes, let them be with their friends on their own sometimes.
10. Be involved:
Lastly just be involved, do not live different lives – be involved know each others lives. Share each others happiness and sadness. Know each other inside out and work towards a common goal. It is destructive to have completely different goals. Ofcourse you should have separate personal goals but they should work towards a common objective.
Be happy and live a happy life – and love each other more than you love yourself, and if you do not than it is probably time to look for someone else.