Parallel lines have so much in common, its a shame they will never meet.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
How do you make an octopus laugh?With ten-tickles!
Why did the pony get sent to his room?He wouldn’t stop horsing around!
Why do hummingbirds hum?Because they don’t know the words!
Why are peppers the best at archery?Because they habanero!
Why did an old man fall in a well?Because he couldn’t see that well!
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Bernadette.
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.