What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!
Parallel lines have so much in common, its a shame they will never meet.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
How do you make an octopus laugh?With ten-tickles!
Why did the pony get sent to his room?He wouldn’t stop horsing around!
Why do hummingbirds hum?Because they don’t know the words!
Why are peppers the best at archery?Because they habanero!
Why did an old man fall in a well?Because he couldn’t see that well!
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Bernadette.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.
How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience.
Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all its problems.
What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra with a sunburn!
Do fish go on vacation? No, because they’re always in school!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle!
What travels all around the world but stays in one corner? A postage stamp!
Why do fish swim in saltwater? Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
What’s gray, has four legs and a trunk? A mouse on vacation!