How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall
dad jokes
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
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Why are penguins socially awkward?
Because they can’t break the ice.
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How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning
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Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
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What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
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How do billboards talk?
Sign language.
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Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
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Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
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What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?
A stamp.
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How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
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What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
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What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
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When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
When the punchline is a parent.
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When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
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I used to be addicted to soap.
I am clean now.
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How does a squid go into battle?
Well armed !
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The only Christmas present that I got this year was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find that very hard to deal with.
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What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack.
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What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
